ARTICLE: The Tao of Tony Soprano

My hubby and I have adopted what we call the Tao of Tony Soprano. It goes like this: When something "bad" happens, in our best New Jersey accent, we shrug our shoulders and say, "Waddaya gunna do?"
This is our way embracing a deeper, all-important and powerful metaphysical mind-set - that of surrender.

We left for our family vacation on Happy July 4th. Hooked up our travel trailer - our family's new toy - and headed out for our first "real" trailer vacation. Our friend's son is getting married in California on Saturday, so we decided to build a vacation around it - breaking up the drive from Oregon, camping before, during and after, seeing friends, biking and site-seeing.

Well, things got off to a good start. We left on time, arrived at our half-way point as planned, set up camp, and headed out for lunch and errands. Turns out the Universe had something else in mind for us.

Long story short, here we were in the parking lot of Walmart with a dead car, in 104 degree heat, on the 4th of July. As you might imagine no service departments were open for the holiday.

It would have been very easy to jump down the black-hole of doom and gloom - "Oh no! Our vacation is ruined!" But, Chris and I have learned better and we practiced all the things we've learned about manifestation - suspending judgment, making the best of it, and trusting that there is good in the situation even if we can't see it.

So, AAA towed us, we rented a truck, contacted our friends and family to give them a head's up and surrendered to the situation. Waddaya gonna do?

Fast-forward to the big news. Our new truck needs an new transmission. So, California has been cancelled and the wedding will be missed. Yes, this is a sad development, but of one thing I'm sure: If we had decided to dive into the black-hole of resistance and complaining, it probably would have been a lot worse.

It certainly could have been a lot worse! But, by surrendering and counting our blessings, we were taken care of: The campground accommodated us, the California campground gave us a full refund, the tranny replacement is covered by warranty, the car broke down in Walmart not while climbing a mountain pass with the trailer in tow, we had cell phones, reception and AAA, we found another truck to rent so we can still have a quality vacation and load up the bikes as planned, and I'm sure there are other blessings we don't and won't even know about.

ALL of us are blessed with total freedom. But the freedom does not come from controlling our circumstances so that we can feel better. The freedom comes from choosing to feel good under all conditions. It is in BEING peace, trust, safety, abundance and well-being FIRST,that we attract more peace, trust, safety, abundance and well-being!

Choose Your Reality!

Sonia

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MUSING: To Bitch or Not To Bitch - That IS the Question...

“What the --!” An explosive "POP" followed by a burning smell compelled me to pull over to the side of the road.

Perfect… just perfect, I groaned mentally. I could feel a victimy complaint list swelling in my mind, barreling down on what had been a zen-like state of consciousness. The desire to plunge into the delicious depths of a self-righteous bitch session (with me, myself, and I) swelled as I got out of my car to investigate.

Nope, no flat tire. But now what? I didn’t feel safe to drive. The last thing I needed was to become a vaporized mist in a pyrotechnic auto event. Probably not a good idea to risk driving.

So, I began going through the requisite motions. Called my hubby, couldn’t reach him. Called AAA. Called my mom. Called the rental car company. Started coordinating the details of my rescue amidst twenty dropped calls due to bad cell phone reception, and fifteen or so friendly Samaritans asking if I was okay.

What a DRAG! This was my first real day-off in a month. Just 60 seconds ago, I was in a wonderfully grateful, peaceful place. Aaaaahhhh, finally everyone’s schedule was set – kids, mine, childcare, summer vacation had started, the sun was finally shining. And BAM! I’m by the side of the road dealing with yet another of life’s inconveniences! This was the cherry on my Sundae of the past month! GRRRRR.

And yet, I’m a self-proclaimed metaphysician. I KNOW that I can’t afford to indulge in a bitch session without risking creating more of the same crap. I know too well how we create our experience and our reality. So, I fought my desire to delve into drama. Took some deep breaths and started my self-talk routine. Sonia, Source is good ALL the time. Be grateful. You’re in a safe place. You have a cell-phone. You have AAA. It could be worse. Your surroundings are beautiful. There’s no place you have to be. The kids are taken care of….”

On and on I tried to focus on the positive. I tried to “get happy.” But I just wasn’t in the mood to be happy. So, I didn’t bitch, but I didn’t get happy either. Then I remembered, Sonia, you don’t have to be happy, just suspend judgment. …BIG SIGH… Okay, that I can do. So, I “practiced pause”. I paused. Took a breath and declared to myself, This is only bad if I call it bad. I am suspending judgment of this situation. It is what it is and it is fine.

The desire to bitch released and I surrendered to the situation. Long story short, two hours later, my car was off to the dealership. The groceries were in my mother’s car along with me, and I was on my way to the rental car company.

The event resolved itself, but more importantly by choosing not to bitch and suspending judgment, some magical things happened. They happened because I knew there was something better than what I would have created by indulging in a go-nowhere bitch session.

Well, to start, after Good Samaritan #12 stopped by, a tearful wave of appreciation swept over me. It really hit me how there is help all around all the time. Stranger after stranger stopped to offer help and care – from the 4-wheelin’ teenagers, to biker dudes in tattoos, to mother and daughter teams, to lone truck men, to single business women. All types, all kinds, all just stopping to help. What a moving reality when you really let it in.

Then at the car rental place, the woman helping me asked, “What was that other business I heard about on your voicemail?” “Oh, that’s Success for the Soul - my private practice. I’m a life coach and counselor.” “Wow!” Her eyes lit up. “I NEED a life coach. Tell me more.” We chatted for a while and she shared that her life was in transition and her eldest son was going to Iraq. She was interested in gaining clarity and guidance for her life.

In less than two hours I had gone from a pain-in-the-neck agitation to an intimate connection with a soul whose child was going to war. Geez! My mere annoyance was certainly worth this sacred moment, wouldn’t you say?

I drove home reflecting on the choice I had had. To bitch or not to bitch, that WAS the question. In a moment when life gave me a situation I really did not care for, I had a choice. We always have a choice. We are always free - not necessarily to change the conditions of life at any given moment, but to choose how we will perceive an event. We are free to choose our attitude. We are free to choose how we will judge an event. And in so doing, we do, indeed, choose our reality.

Choose Your Reality!

Sonia

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