Here's the thing about making dreams come true: It all begins with letting yourself dream -- really OWNING what it is that you want. When you do, when you finally surrender to your dream with no apologies, no qualifications, no if's, ands, or buts, then and only then can the door to your dream open.
For many years now my dream has been to reach a larger audience. Of that I was clear. BUT, part of what held me back was the limiting belief that reaching an larger audience meant sacrificing family time to a degree that was simply not acceptable to me.
As I prepared to publish my soon-be-released book, I kept hearing about all the travel that I'd have to do to promote my book. Sorry, not an option. I have two small children and I want to be home for them.
Well, when I finally owned that I wanted to successfully and prosperously reach a larger audience AND be home for my children, all resistance fell away. THAT was my dream - not one or the other. And when I owned the WHAT and the WHY of my dream, the Universe sent me the HOW. The Law of Attraction begins with intention and once I got clear, with all of my attention on what I wanted (vs. what I did not want), the magic began to unfold.
They say that when the student is ready the teacher appears. Well, this time she came in the form of a beautiful, authentic, powerful, fun and gracious marketing guru known as Alexandria Brown.
After a year's worth of reading and implementing nuggets of marketing wisdom from her free newsletters and teleseminars it became clear that I needed to attend her Online Success Blueprint Workshop. I've never spent $3000 on myself before. But the Universe sent me a clear and strong nudge. I surrendered and trusted. And I'm so glad I did.
At this moment I'm writing from my hotel room after 3 power days of' 'aha' moments and simple yet potent marketing tools. I'm going home with a clear plan of how I'm going to reach my larger audience in 2008. My first information product is launching before year-end. My first book is finally coming out in early 2008 and my second information product will be out by the end of 2008.
I can't wait to share them all with you! I'm choosing MY reality. Are you?
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com and www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law of attraction. Show all posts
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
ARTICLE: When the Law of Attraction ISN’T Working: How to Break Free of Self-Sabotage
The Universe Loves a Vacuum
You’ve probably heard people say, “The Universe abhors a vacuum.” Well, I’ve come to know that the Universe actually loves a vacuum. This is because the Universe is about expansion and the vacuum gives the Universe a place to expand into.
This is good news for you because every time you let yourself dream for a better life, you are expanding. And every time you expand, a vacuum is created. The vacuum is indeed necessary. Just like the crab that sheds its shell many times throughout its life in order to create a larger shell for its growing body, we must let go of the smaller version of ourselves over and again in order to grow. Did you know that once the crab releases its shell, he inflates his body with water to become bigger than he really is so that the new shell will form large enough for him to grow into? We do the same thing when harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction. We reach for our dreams, something bigger than we are at the time. We take inspired action. And we think and feel as if we were already that version of ourselves. In so doing, we must let go of the former version, becoming vulnerable until our new reality manifests; like the crab who seeks shelter until his new shell forms.
Let Go and Welcome the Vacuum
This vacuum is a predictable, albeit uncomfortable part of the manifestation process. When you understand that it is a necessary part of growth, and utilize the tools that can make the discomfort tolerable, you can move steadily toward your dream. When however, you fear the vacuum and misinterpret it as a “bad” thing, you are in danger of losing your dream to self-sabotage.
For example, let’s say you dream of a successful relationship. Yet, no matter what you do, it eludes you. You’ve come to realize that you keep experiencing the same bad relationship over and again, but with different people. In order to let yourself have a better relationship, you will have to let go of something you’re attached to. Perhaps you’re terrified of being alone. You must let go of the belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. You must be willing to be alone (i.e. experience the vacuum), in order to let a better relationship in.
Maybe you want to experience financial prosperity. The Universe sends you leads in the form of opportunities and ideas. You’re inspired and know exactly what you need to do. You understand that you’ll have to risk, believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, and walk in faith until the results appear. In order to do this, you must let go of the illusion that your security comes from your savings account or a steady paycheck. You must expand your definition of security.
Sometimes the vacuum looks like one giant “I don’t know.” Possibly you’ve struggled with your weight all your life, or battled a certain family member for years, or been plagued by low self-esteem as long as you can remember. Regardless of the strategies you’ve tried, you keep hitting the same brick wall. One day, you throw your hands up and declare, “I just don’t know what to do!” This is good! This is the vacuum. You’ve let go of the idea that you should know how to handle your challenge.
What to Do With the Vacuum
So what do you do with the vacuum?
1) You allow it with non-resistance,
2) You do whatever you have to do to soothe your fears, doubts and insecurities, and
3) You stay focused on where you are going.
You’ve probably heard people say, “The Universe abhors a vacuum.” Well, I’ve come to know that the Universe actually loves a vacuum. This is because the Universe is about expansion and the vacuum gives the Universe a place to expand into.
This is good news for you because every time you let yourself dream for a better life, you are expanding. And every time you expand, a vacuum is created. The vacuum is indeed necessary. Just like the crab that sheds its shell many times throughout its life in order to create a larger shell for its growing body, we must let go of the smaller version of ourselves over and again in order to grow. Did you know that once the crab releases its shell, he inflates his body with water to become bigger than he really is so that the new shell will form large enough for him to grow into? We do the same thing when harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction. We reach for our dreams, something bigger than we are at the time. We take inspired action. And we think and feel as if we were already that version of ourselves. In so doing, we must let go of the former version, becoming vulnerable until our new reality manifests; like the crab who seeks shelter until his new shell forms.
Let Go and Welcome the Vacuum
This vacuum is a predictable, albeit uncomfortable part of the manifestation process. When you understand that it is a necessary part of growth, and utilize the tools that can make the discomfort tolerable, you can move steadily toward your dream. When however, you fear the vacuum and misinterpret it as a “bad” thing, you are in danger of losing your dream to self-sabotage.
For example, let’s say you dream of a successful relationship. Yet, no matter what you do, it eludes you. You’ve come to realize that you keep experiencing the same bad relationship over and again, but with different people. In order to let yourself have a better relationship, you will have to let go of something you’re attached to. Perhaps you’re terrified of being alone. You must let go of the belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. You must be willing to be alone (i.e. experience the vacuum), in order to let a better relationship in.
Maybe you want to experience financial prosperity. The Universe sends you leads in the form of opportunities and ideas. You’re inspired and know exactly what you need to do. You understand that you’ll have to risk, believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, and walk in faith until the results appear. In order to do this, you must let go of the illusion that your security comes from your savings account or a steady paycheck. You must expand your definition of security.
Sometimes the vacuum looks like one giant “I don’t know.” Possibly you’ve struggled with your weight all your life, or battled a certain family member for years, or been plagued by low self-esteem as long as you can remember. Regardless of the strategies you’ve tried, you keep hitting the same brick wall. One day, you throw your hands up and declare, “I just don’t know what to do!” This is good! This is the vacuum. You’ve let go of the idea that you should know how to handle your challenge.
What to Do With the Vacuum
So what do you do with the vacuum?
1) You allow it with non-resistance,
2) You do whatever you have to do to soothe your fears, doubts and insecurities, and
3) You stay focused on where you are going.
You must accept the vacuum and trust that it is a good thing. It may feel anything but good. You may feel lost. You may feel fear. You may even feel like a part of you is dying. All of that is normal and okay. Throughout life we go through numerous mini deaths and rebirths. This is the natural cycle of life.
The truth is that you will not die or drown in the void. However, this is exactly what many of us fear. In actuality, you will be okay if you simply float around in the void for a while. This feeling of nothingness is the vacuum. And remember, the Universe loves a vacuum. If you’re patient and trust, the Universe will give you something. And if you don’t fill it with the old way of being, the Universe will provide a new and better way. The key is to let the Universe provide!
How to Navigate the Vacuum
In times of vulnerability you have a choice. You can either reach for the old familiar way of being or you can reach for something new, positive and productive. The old way leads to self-sabotage. You will simply go back to what you know and repeat your pattern once again. When, however, you intentionally reach for something new, you will stay on course to your dream:
-Seek out like-minded people or support groups.
-Stay inspired with a constant stream of books or audios.
-Take classes to keep you growing.
-Find a coach, counselor, teacher or healer to help you stay on track.
In other words, do whatever it takes to feed your faith until the new you emerges.
And I’ll tell you this: It will often feel like the new reality isn’t coming fast enough. In addition to befriending the vacuum, you must let go of control. You have to live with the vacuum for however long it takes. Use the vacuum period to become the person in your dream. If you’ve been living with the financial vacuum caused by building your dream business and the debt is getting scary, don’t let fear cause the old you to focus on debt. Instead reach for that which will allow you to BE the new you. I assure you, Donald Trump deals with astronomical amounts of debt, but he never focuses on it. He focuses on what he is building with total faith and confidence.
If you’re fed up with being alone and are starting to think you will never have the relationship of your dreams, use the vacuum period to fall in love with yourself and your life. Become a person who is in love. Refrain from filling the void with any old toad. By allowing the vacuum to exist, the Universe will send you a better version of you-in-love (i.e. Prince or Princess Charming).
You may or may not be able to love the vacuum the way the Universe does. But if you can accept it, and work with it as a natural part of the manifestation process, you will have mastered a common form of metaphysical self-sabotage and opened the floodgates for the Law of Attraction to bless your life!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com or www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
ARTICLE: How to REALLY Dismantle the Limiting Beliefs That Keep Your Life Small
I’m not good enough. Good things never last. The world is unsafe. If you win, it means I lose. I have to earn what I want. I’m too this. I’m not enough that. Women only want men with money. Men only want the skinny, young things. This disease is incurable. I have to take care of myself because nobody else will. I need a college degree to do what I want. Money doesn’t fall from the sky. I don’t deserve love, happiness, success, etc…
Any of these sound familiar? If you haven’t guessed yet, these are but a few of the limiting beliefs that plague us as human beings. Unrecognized and unchallenged, they define our very life. They become our truth. They become our reality. We inherit beliefs from our parents. We develop beliefs from our experiences. We absorb beliefs from our environments. We are infected by beliefs through our media. Although these beliefs are not necessarily truths, we live our lives as if they were. And whatever is true for you, IS TRUE (for you) because your consciousness creates your reality.
The idea that one must break through limiting beliefs in order to allow greater possibilities is well known among those who pursue personal growth. However, real success in accomplishing this feat still eludes many. This is because true change requires a blend of knowing what to do as well as knowing how to go about it. What follows are the keys to successfully dismantling limiting beliefs so as to open your life to infinite possibilities!
Meet Your Inner Witness
The first step is awareness. In order to start recognizing the beliefs that limit you, you must begin using a very powerful part of your consciousness known as your inner witness. Imagine that there are two parts of you: the you that lives your life and the you that observes you living your life. The observer part of you stands outside of you and notices what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking. It will inform you of your limiting beliefs. So, what does the witness look for? A good place to start is to have your inner witness watch for two clues: cause-and-effect-thinking and judgment.
Erroneous Cause-and-Effect-Thinking
Cause-and-effect-thinking will sound like this in your mind: In order to be more prosperous, I must get a better job. In order to have a relationship, I must lose weight. In order to feel freedom, I must get this person out of my life. Whenever we think we know how something should unfold in order to achieve a result, we may be caught in a limiting belief. It all depends on whether you live life from the limited personality level or from the broader soul perspective. The personality level sees the world only through the five human senses. The soul perspective understands that the Universe can provide in ways we may have never imagined.
Good/Bad Judgments
To judge something is to name it. As soon as we observe something and give it a name, we have judged it. And because we are infinitely powerful creators, the way we judge something is the way we will experience it. When we call something good, we will experience it as good. When we call something bad we experience it as bad. When your inner witness catches you judging something as good or bad, explore the judgment to see if there is a limiting belief there.
Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs, then you can begin to transform them by practicing any number of belief-altering techniques. However, it takes more than technique to transform your beliefs. To successfully expand your consciousness you must embrace the growth opportunity as a discipline. If you think that you can break through deeply ingrained beliefs, societal paradigms or long-practiced bad habits by sporadically dabbling in self-actualization exercises, you’ll be disappointed. A long-term commitment that incorporates daily practice is the only thing that will steadily guide and direct your awareness toward greater possibility. The following guidelines will help you set yourself up for success.
Cultivate the Right Attitude
Maintaining an open mind and an attitude of willingness is essential to releasing limiting beliefs. If you find yourself succumbing to the voices of impossibility, doubt and skepticism, that’s a sign that your mind is closing and your limited perspective is winning. A good vaccine that wards off the mind-closing virus is to keep asking yourself, “what if...?” What if there was a way to do what I love without a college degree? What if there was a woman out there who could love me exactly as I am? What if there was a way for me to change careers without causing my family financial hardship? When you ask questions of possibility, the Universe answers.
Fill Your Bag of Tricks
In addition to nurturing open-mindedness and willingness, an experimental mind-set is most productive. When it comes to transforming limiting beliefs there are many tools and techniques that work. However, what works for one person, might not work for another. And what works for you one day, might not work for you another day. So, the best approach is to fill your bag of tricks. Affirmations, coaching, mentoring, 'acting as if', prayer, meditation, energy healing, journal writing, study, contemplation, visualization, and counseling are among the plethora of belief-altering methods available. With discipline as your foundation and the willingness to experiment, you will find the tools that will work for you over the long-haul journey of expanding your consciousness.
Accept the Fact That Self-Sabotage Happens
Left to our own devices, many of us will default to our old ways. It’s natural. It’s to be expected. So, rather than letting this natural human tendency defeat you, understand it. Accept it. And put in place the safety net that will catch you when you fall. If you know that your motivation tends to fizzle into nothingness, or that it doesn’t take much for your mind to plummet toward scarcity and negativity, make a commitment that will keep you accountable, forward moving and exposed to new information. Sign up for a class. Pay for six months of coaching in advance. Create or find a support group. Volunteer or find employment where you’ll work closely with people who exemplify the expansion you desire.
Dismantling the limiting beliefs that keep your life small is not only possible, but with the right mind-set and life structure in place, it is inevitable. And, as many a self-help guru has taught, you will discover that when you change your mind, you do indeed change your life.
Any of these sound familiar? If you haven’t guessed yet, these are but a few of the limiting beliefs that plague us as human beings. Unrecognized and unchallenged, they define our very life. They become our truth. They become our reality. We inherit beliefs from our parents. We develop beliefs from our experiences. We absorb beliefs from our environments. We are infected by beliefs through our media. Although these beliefs are not necessarily truths, we live our lives as if they were. And whatever is true for you, IS TRUE (for you) because your consciousness creates your reality.
The idea that one must break through limiting beliefs in order to allow greater possibilities is well known among those who pursue personal growth. However, real success in accomplishing this feat still eludes many. This is because true change requires a blend of knowing what to do as well as knowing how to go about it. What follows are the keys to successfully dismantling limiting beliefs so as to open your life to infinite possibilities!
Meet Your Inner Witness
The first step is awareness. In order to start recognizing the beliefs that limit you, you must begin using a very powerful part of your consciousness known as your inner witness. Imagine that there are two parts of you: the you that lives your life and the you that observes you living your life. The observer part of you stands outside of you and notices what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking. It will inform you of your limiting beliefs. So, what does the witness look for? A good place to start is to have your inner witness watch for two clues: cause-and-effect-thinking and judgment.
Erroneous Cause-and-Effect-Thinking
Cause-and-effect-thinking will sound like this in your mind: In order to be more prosperous, I must get a better job. In order to have a relationship, I must lose weight. In order to feel freedom, I must get this person out of my life. Whenever we think we know how something should unfold in order to achieve a result, we may be caught in a limiting belief. It all depends on whether you live life from the limited personality level or from the broader soul perspective. The personality level sees the world only through the five human senses. The soul perspective understands that the Universe can provide in ways we may have never imagined.
Good/Bad Judgments
To judge something is to name it. As soon as we observe something and give it a name, we have judged it. And because we are infinitely powerful creators, the way we judge something is the way we will experience it. When we call something good, we will experience it as good. When we call something bad we experience it as bad. When your inner witness catches you judging something as good or bad, explore the judgment to see if there is a limiting belief there.
Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs, then you can begin to transform them by practicing any number of belief-altering techniques. However, it takes more than technique to transform your beliefs. To successfully expand your consciousness you must embrace the growth opportunity as a discipline. If you think that you can break through deeply ingrained beliefs, societal paradigms or long-practiced bad habits by sporadically dabbling in self-actualization exercises, you’ll be disappointed. A long-term commitment that incorporates daily practice is the only thing that will steadily guide and direct your awareness toward greater possibility. The following guidelines will help you set yourself up for success.
Cultivate the Right Attitude
Maintaining an open mind and an attitude of willingness is essential to releasing limiting beliefs. If you find yourself succumbing to the voices of impossibility, doubt and skepticism, that’s a sign that your mind is closing and your limited perspective is winning. A good vaccine that wards off the mind-closing virus is to keep asking yourself, “what if...?” What if there was a way to do what I love without a college degree? What if there was a woman out there who could love me exactly as I am? What if there was a way for me to change careers without causing my family financial hardship? When you ask questions of possibility, the Universe answers.
Fill Your Bag of Tricks
In addition to nurturing open-mindedness and willingness, an experimental mind-set is most productive. When it comes to transforming limiting beliefs there are many tools and techniques that work. However, what works for one person, might not work for another. And what works for you one day, might not work for you another day. So, the best approach is to fill your bag of tricks. Affirmations, coaching, mentoring, 'acting as if', prayer, meditation, energy healing, journal writing, study, contemplation, visualization, and counseling are among the plethora of belief-altering methods available. With discipline as your foundation and the willingness to experiment, you will find the tools that will work for you over the long-haul journey of expanding your consciousness.
Accept the Fact That Self-Sabotage Happens
Left to our own devices, many of us will default to our old ways. It’s natural. It’s to be expected. So, rather than letting this natural human tendency defeat you, understand it. Accept it. And put in place the safety net that will catch you when you fall. If you know that your motivation tends to fizzle into nothingness, or that it doesn’t take much for your mind to plummet toward scarcity and negativity, make a commitment that will keep you accountable, forward moving and exposed to new information. Sign up for a class. Pay for six months of coaching in advance. Create or find a support group. Volunteer or find employment where you’ll work closely with people who exemplify the expansion you desire.
Dismantling the limiting beliefs that keep your life small is not only possible, but with the right mind-set and life structure in place, it is inevitable. And, as many a self-help guru has taught, you will discover that when you change your mind, you do indeed change your life.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
ARTICLE: How to Transform Your Relationships with the Law of Attraction
The Most Common Mistake
Utter miracles are possible in relationships. As a life coach and counselor, I've seen many relationships resuscitated from near death. Yet, the most common mistake that I see over and again in relationships is that people get stuck in the notion that theother person needs to change.
Certainly, sometimes the only way you can experience improvement is to release the relationship all together to allow a more fulfilling one into your life. Yet, there is a lot you can do to activate transformation. Your power, however, lies in exploring how you might need to change versus the other person.
Where Your Attention Goes, the Energy Flows
The Law of Attraction teaches us: where your attention goes, the energy flows. Metaphysics and quantum physics tell us that the consciousness of the observer directly influences the observed. In other words if you look for the positive, you'll find the positive. If you look for the negative, you'll find the negative. Oh… but bemoaning our fate, gossiping and making the other person wrong is so juicy, isn't it? Let's face it. There's great benefit to complaining and criticizing another. We get to be right. Our egos just love that! We get to be comfortable because we don't need to challenge ourselves or change. And we get to shirk responsibility. Who wants another thing to be responsible for?!But alas, despite all the goodies that come with pointing the finger, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, "How's this working for me?" Yes, you may be right. Every last thing on your laundry list of resentments may indeed be accurate and even justified. But at some point you have to decide whether you'd rather have a relationship with a human being or your resentments. Resentments are like poison. They will eat you alive. If, however, you're willing to take responsibility for your unhappy relationships you'll find that it is not only possible to release the resentments, but you will discover a new level of fulfillment in your relationship with yourself and others.
Recognize and Redirect
Where does one begin on this journey of relationship transformation? You must first make a commitment to clean up your end of the negative dynamic. This means that you must take responsibility for your attitude and thoughts. The only way that change is truly possible is to embrace this as a discipline. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. This means that what we experience in our external world is a direct reflection of our internal consciousness. When we choose different thoughts, emotions and actions, our relationships will reflect the new consciousness. I call this mental practice Recognize and Redirect. Here's how it works:Each time you notice that your attention is on what you do not want with a person, pause, recognize that you are defaulting to the negative, and redirect your thoughts toward anything even the slightest bit positive. This practice is quite simple and the results can be dramatic. If you do this for 40 days with commitment, you will experience change. Although you can not control what the change will look like, it will be positive. Either you will begin to experience the other person in a better light, or you will gain insights that will guide you to a more productive relationship experience.Now then, you may say, How am I supposed to find something positive about this person? He is impossible! She'll never change! First of all, if you want to find something positive you will. You must be willing to let go of your righteous position. Secondly, it is important to note that you don't have to find something positive about the person, you need only redirect your consciousness to anything positive. Here are a few ways to do this:
-Practice Your Willingness Mantra – Willingness is nothing less than the magic wand of metaphysics. The great thing about willingness is that you don't have to know how to change something. You only need to know that you want it to be different. Let's say you regularly feel contempt for a co-worker. Next time you recognize this, say to yourself, I am willing to feel good around Joe no matter what. If in mid-conversation you recognize that once again you are struggling with your teenager, pause, and say to yourself, I am willing to experience ease and harmony. Next time you engage in that familiar head-butting dance with your father, pause and say to yourself, I am willing to have a break-through! Don't worry about coming up with just the right words, because it is your intention, not the words, that magnetizes a new experience. The universe knows just what to do.
- Look for the Best in the Person - Take some time when you are alone to make a list of positive characteristics about the other person. Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the equation. Look at how that person operates in the world outside of your relationship, how other people see him, what good she does do and how she does contribute. Try giving this person the benefit of the doubt. What positive reason might motivate this person's actions and choices? Once you've got your list, it will be easier to redirect your consciousness when you really need to.
- Examine Your Expectations – Expectations can be an insidious and damaging culprit in relationships. We all have them. We expect the other person to do all sorts of things for us. Have you been expecting your boyfriend to read your mind, your mother to express love to you in a certain way, your husband to help more with the kids, your co-worker to trust you rather than compete with you? Once you are more aware of your expectations, consider letting all of them go -- even if only for forty days. Consider the possibility that the other person is not responsible for any of those expectations -that instead it is your responsibility to meet your own needs. Without the burden of expectation, it is much easier to redirect your consciousness to the positive.Being self-responsible is fundamental to successful relationships. It may not be easy, but it is productive. Although there is much over which we have no power, we do have power over our perspective. There is nothing more powerful than taking charge of how you relate to things, whether it be your car breaking down, your significant other, or socio-political events of the world. The fact is, as Wayne Dyer puts it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: http://www.successforthesoul/ and http://www.soniamillerssoulfoodezine.com/
Utter miracles are possible in relationships. As a life coach and counselor, I've seen many relationships resuscitated from near death. Yet, the most common mistake that I see over and again in relationships is that people get stuck in the notion that theother person needs to change.
Certainly, sometimes the only way you can experience improvement is to release the relationship all together to allow a more fulfilling one into your life. Yet, there is a lot you can do to activate transformation. Your power, however, lies in exploring how you might need to change versus the other person.
Where Your Attention Goes, the Energy Flows
The Law of Attraction teaches us: where your attention goes, the energy flows. Metaphysics and quantum physics tell us that the consciousness of the observer directly influences the observed. In other words if you look for the positive, you'll find the positive. If you look for the negative, you'll find the negative. Oh… but bemoaning our fate, gossiping and making the other person wrong is so juicy, isn't it? Let's face it. There's great benefit to complaining and criticizing another. We get to be right. Our egos just love that! We get to be comfortable because we don't need to challenge ourselves or change. And we get to shirk responsibility. Who wants another thing to be responsible for?!But alas, despite all the goodies that come with pointing the finger, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, "How's this working for me?" Yes, you may be right. Every last thing on your laundry list of resentments may indeed be accurate and even justified. But at some point you have to decide whether you'd rather have a relationship with a human being or your resentments. Resentments are like poison. They will eat you alive. If, however, you're willing to take responsibility for your unhappy relationships you'll find that it is not only possible to release the resentments, but you will discover a new level of fulfillment in your relationship with yourself and others.
Recognize and Redirect
Where does one begin on this journey of relationship transformation? You must first make a commitment to clean up your end of the negative dynamic. This means that you must take responsibility for your attitude and thoughts. The only way that change is truly possible is to embrace this as a discipline. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. This means that what we experience in our external world is a direct reflection of our internal consciousness. When we choose different thoughts, emotions and actions, our relationships will reflect the new consciousness. I call this mental practice Recognize and Redirect. Here's how it works:Each time you notice that your attention is on what you do not want with a person, pause, recognize that you are defaulting to the negative, and redirect your thoughts toward anything even the slightest bit positive. This practice is quite simple and the results can be dramatic. If you do this for 40 days with commitment, you will experience change. Although you can not control what the change will look like, it will be positive. Either you will begin to experience the other person in a better light, or you will gain insights that will guide you to a more productive relationship experience.Now then, you may say, How am I supposed to find something positive about this person? He is impossible! She'll never change! First of all, if you want to find something positive you will. You must be willing to let go of your righteous position. Secondly, it is important to note that you don't have to find something positive about the person, you need only redirect your consciousness to anything positive. Here are a few ways to do this:
-Practice Your Willingness Mantra – Willingness is nothing less than the magic wand of metaphysics. The great thing about willingness is that you don't have to know how to change something. You only need to know that you want it to be different. Let's say you regularly feel contempt for a co-worker. Next time you recognize this, say to yourself, I am willing to feel good around Joe no matter what. If in mid-conversation you recognize that once again you are struggling with your teenager, pause, and say to yourself, I am willing to experience ease and harmony. Next time you engage in that familiar head-butting dance with your father, pause and say to yourself, I am willing to have a break-through! Don't worry about coming up with just the right words, because it is your intention, not the words, that magnetizes a new experience. The universe knows just what to do.
- Look for the Best in the Person - Take some time when you are alone to make a list of positive characteristics about the other person. Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the equation. Look at how that person operates in the world outside of your relationship, how other people see him, what good she does do and how she does contribute. Try giving this person the benefit of the doubt. What positive reason might motivate this person's actions and choices? Once you've got your list, it will be easier to redirect your consciousness when you really need to.
- Examine Your Expectations – Expectations can be an insidious and damaging culprit in relationships. We all have them. We expect the other person to do all sorts of things for us. Have you been expecting your boyfriend to read your mind, your mother to express love to you in a certain way, your husband to help more with the kids, your co-worker to trust you rather than compete with you? Once you are more aware of your expectations, consider letting all of them go -- even if only for forty days. Consider the possibility that the other person is not responsible for any of those expectations -that instead it is your responsibility to meet your own needs. Without the burden of expectation, it is much easier to redirect your consciousness to the positive.Being self-responsible is fundamental to successful relationships. It may not be easy, but it is productive. Although there is much over which we have no power, we do have power over our perspective. There is nothing more powerful than taking charge of how you relate to things, whether it be your car breaking down, your significant other, or socio-political events of the world. The fact is, as Wayne Dyer puts it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: http://www.successforthesoul/ and http://www.soniamillerssoulfoodezine.com/
Saturday, July 21, 2007
ARTICLE: Give First
We tend to have it all backwards. When we want something we seek to get it. But in seeking to get something we are actually pushing the thing we want away from us. This is because in looking to get, we are telling the Universe, "I lack this thing."
The Law of Attraction tells us like attracts like. So, if your vibration is one of wanting and lacking, you will attract more wanting and lacking. The solution is to flip your approach!
Next time you find yourself wanting to get something, experiment with giving first. Whenever you think of something you want, something you lack, something you wish to get - STOP - and find a way to give it first.
If you want more affection from your mate, stop looking for it and give it. If you want more money - stop - acknowledge how and where you do have it and give some away. If you want more time, give of your time.
Now here's the trick: You must have the right attitude. If all you do is go through the motions this will not work - at least not very well. The giving must be done freely. Get into your heart, stop to really acknowledge all that you have (sometimes it helps to remember that no matter how bad you think you have it, others have it worse), connect with your gratitude and give. Just GIVE with no expectation, with no strings attached. Offer your gift and release it to the Universe.
Try this for a month and see what happens. And don't be surprised when unexpected gifts of love, attention, time, support, or just what you need show up in your life.
The Law of Attraction tells us like attracts like. So, if your vibration is one of wanting and lacking, you will attract more wanting and lacking. The solution is to flip your approach!
Next time you find yourself wanting to get something, experiment with giving first. Whenever you think of something you want, something you lack, something you wish to get - STOP - and find a way to give it first.
If you want more affection from your mate, stop looking for it and give it. If you want more money - stop - acknowledge how and where you do have it and give some away. If you want more time, give of your time.
Now here's the trick: You must have the right attitude. If all you do is go through the motions this will not work - at least not very well. The giving must be done freely. Get into your heart, stop to really acknowledge all that you have (sometimes it helps to remember that no matter how bad you think you have it, others have it worse), connect with your gratitude and give. Just GIVE with no expectation, with no strings attached. Offer your gift and release it to the Universe.
Try this for a month and see what happens. And don't be surprised when unexpected gifts of love, attention, time, support, or just what you need show up in your life.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
MUSING: Confessions of a Metaphysical Life Coach
I have a confession to make. I have an ulterior motive for teaching people how to harness the power of the Law of Attraction. You see, to me the Law of Attraction is a doorway to bigger and better things. And those bigger and better things is what I’m really about.
When I first learned about the Law of Attraction some twenty years ago, I saw it as a way to make my dreams come true. Like many people, I wanted a lot. I thought that if I filled these wants, I'd be happy. However, as I started to reach my goals I learned that happiness did not come from their achievement. Happiness came through discovering who I needed to become in order to realize these goals.
Who did I become? I became more of my true Self. I became the ‘me’ that was lost beneath low self-esteem, fear, confusion, societal expectations and what the media portrays as reality. I discovered my own spirit. I discovered my truth. And I learned how to honor that truth. I realized that I had a purpose and that the only thing that would make me happy was to express that purpose.
My purpose is to help others remember, experience, and express their own divine nature. Therein lays my ulterior motive. Yes, I want you to make all of your dreams come true. But beyond that I’d like you to experience what I call Success for the Soul: the ability to have every aspect of your life become an honest expression of who you truly are and what you believe in.
We all have a purpose. Our purpose is the way we give. When we give, we are telling the Universe we have something to give. As we express more having, we experience having more. And as we have more and give more we bless our world with love, with abundance, with generosity and with healing. The pursuit of your dreams can be a vehicle for spiritual development. If you let your soul drive the bus of your life, it will guide you not only to personal fulfillment, but to your unique way of making the world a better place.
Choose Your Reality
Sonia
For more free articles and resources go to: http://www.successforthesoul.com/
When I first learned about the Law of Attraction some twenty years ago, I saw it as a way to make my dreams come true. Like many people, I wanted a lot. I thought that if I filled these wants, I'd be happy. However, as I started to reach my goals I learned that happiness did not come from their achievement. Happiness came through discovering who I needed to become in order to realize these goals.
Who did I become? I became more of my true Self. I became the ‘me’ that was lost beneath low self-esteem, fear, confusion, societal expectations and what the media portrays as reality. I discovered my own spirit. I discovered my truth. And I learned how to honor that truth. I realized that I had a purpose and that the only thing that would make me happy was to express that purpose.
My purpose is to help others remember, experience, and express their own divine nature. Therein lays my ulterior motive. Yes, I want you to make all of your dreams come true. But beyond that I’d like you to experience what I call Success for the Soul: the ability to have every aspect of your life become an honest expression of who you truly are and what you believe in.
We all have a purpose. Our purpose is the way we give. When we give, we are telling the Universe we have something to give. As we express more having, we experience having more. And as we have more and give more we bless our world with love, with abundance, with generosity and with healing. The pursuit of your dreams can be a vehicle for spiritual development. If you let your soul drive the bus of your life, it will guide you not only to personal fulfillment, but to your unique way of making the world a better place.
Choose Your Reality
Sonia
For more free articles and resources go to: http://www.successforthesoul.com/
Saturday, June 16, 2007
MUSING: The Law of Attraction and Kids
I’m creating little Law of Attraction monsters… and it is a good thing! My husband, Chris and I have 8 year old boy girl twins and we’ve been teaching them about the Law of Attraction from the time they knew had to throw a tantrum when they didn’t get what they wanted. I’m not saying that our kids threw many tantrums, but I dare any parent to make it through toddler-hood without at least a few of those delightful rites of passage.
Anyhow, today I was blessed with gleeful joy, when I discovered on my coffee table our kids' most recent manifest list. It reads, and I quote:
baby bull dog
1. blak or white or broun
2. baby not gown up
3. pepsyordeth (no idea what that means, but dang it is cute!)
4. playfull
5. outside and inside
6. boy
7. likes water
8. likes cats
It was beyond fun to see them resort to an activity I offered them one day, a while back, when they were frustrated by a “no” response to a toy request. We’ve taught them about visualization (i.e. pretending they already have it), choosing thoughts that make them happy vs. focusing on things that make them mad, and reaching for gratitude when faced with the absence of what they want.
Sometimes they find our philosophies frustrating because there’s no room for them to be victims. And let’s face it, it is easy for kids to feel powerless when grown-ups keep telling them what they can and cannot do. But imagine the power a child can access when you tell them, “No, you can’t always have things your way. You don’t always have control over what life gives you. BUT you have total power over your attitude and how you choose to think about a thing. Keep thinking that you will have what you want and one day you will.”
Well, the other day, my little Law of Attraction boy monster was lobbying, yet again for a cell-phone. He’s only 8 for goodness sake! I said, “Nathaniel, we’ve talked about this a million times. You won’t have one until it is necessary. Keep asking and you’ll have to wait till you’re 18.” “No I won’t.” “Yes, you will,” I retorted. “No, I’ll get one when I want,” he declared with all the confidence and strength I've ever wished for him. Suddenly, my silent-till-then husband chimed in, “Yes, Nathaniel, knowing you, you probably WILL get one when you want.”
Our Law of Attraction kids are respectful, but never submissive. This means more work for us. But I’d rather have kids that can think for themselves, trust themselves, and know their power than ones who make my life easy. Law of Attraction kids make for empowered future adults who create their own reality rather than feel victim to the world around them. Sounds like a promising future to me. What do you think?
Choose Your Reality,
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resource go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
Anyhow, today I was blessed with gleeful joy, when I discovered on my coffee table our kids' most recent manifest list. It reads, and I quote:
baby bull dog
1. blak or white or broun
2. baby not gown up
3. pepsyordeth (no idea what that means, but dang it is cute!)
4. playfull
5. outside and inside
6. boy
7. likes water
8. likes cats
It was beyond fun to see them resort to an activity I offered them one day, a while back, when they were frustrated by a “no” response to a toy request. We’ve taught them about visualization (i.e. pretending they already have it), choosing thoughts that make them happy vs. focusing on things that make them mad, and reaching for gratitude when faced with the absence of what they want.
Sometimes they find our philosophies frustrating because there’s no room for them to be victims. And let’s face it, it is easy for kids to feel powerless when grown-ups keep telling them what they can and cannot do. But imagine the power a child can access when you tell them, “No, you can’t always have things your way. You don’t always have control over what life gives you. BUT you have total power over your attitude and how you choose to think about a thing. Keep thinking that you will have what you want and one day you will.”
Well, the other day, my little Law of Attraction boy monster was lobbying, yet again for a cell-phone. He’s only 8 for goodness sake! I said, “Nathaniel, we’ve talked about this a million times. You won’t have one until it is necessary. Keep asking and you’ll have to wait till you’re 18.” “No I won’t.” “Yes, you will,” I retorted. “No, I’ll get one when I want,” he declared with all the confidence and strength I've ever wished for him. Suddenly, my silent-till-then husband chimed in, “Yes, Nathaniel, knowing you, you probably WILL get one when you want.”
Our Law of Attraction kids are respectful, but never submissive. This means more work for us. But I’d rather have kids that can think for themselves, trust themselves, and know their power than ones who make my life easy. Law of Attraction kids make for empowered future adults who create their own reality rather than feel victim to the world around them. Sounds like a promising future to me. What do you think?
Choose Your Reality,
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resource go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
Friday, June 1, 2007
MUSING: I Had a 10 lb. Metaphysical Baby!
Phew! That was a workout! I've been pregnant with this creative idea for years! Gestating, gestating. And then, "suddenly" it was time. The energetic contractions started and it was time to push!
For the last two months I've been in what has felt like a creative worm-hole, traveling at light speed, letting all manner of inspiration and nuts and bolts action move through me to create The Law of Attraction Tele-Coaching Program. This is my baby! And today, poof! It was born. I finally put on the last of the finishing touches and sent out the official announcement.
I couldn't be more thrilled. If you've read the "About Me" section of my blog, you'll know that I'm just a *little* bit of a zealot when it comes to the Law of Attraction. I don't care what the skeptics say. My life is living proof that it works. And it can either work for you or against you. It is just a matter of whether you want to wake up and accept that you create your experience or not.
Believe me, I know how black and white this sounds. And, on one level, it IS that black and white. Yet, on other levels there are so many subtle nuances that make all the difference as to whether or not you can get the Law of Attraction to work in your life. I KNOW about these subtle nuances. I've spent 20 years studying them.
Over the years I've questioned, tested, challenged and even rejected the idea that I create my reality - many times over. And yet, each time life brought me adversity, somehow I kept returning to the idea that I was powerful and not a victim of circumstance or fate. After enough challenge, study and exploration, I was finally able to reconcile the seeming contradictions. I finally understood how it all worked. And now, I live my life this way. I feel soooo blessed. Not just for the "things" that I have, but much more for the peace, the serenity, and the love that fills my heart. For years I felt trapped in a prison, and I now I'm free!
I want nothing more than to help others know this kind of freedom. Life is too sweet to not eat it up!
Anyhoo, now that my baby is born, I get to play with it. I look forward to seeing what Source sends my way!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
To learn more about The Law of Attraction Tele-Coaching Program go to: http://www.cooleremail.net/users/sonquita/MemberList_LOA$Coach.html
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com.
For the last two months I've been in what has felt like a creative worm-hole, traveling at light speed, letting all manner of inspiration and nuts and bolts action move through me to create The Law of Attraction Tele-Coaching Program. This is my baby! And today, poof! It was born. I finally put on the last of the finishing touches and sent out the official announcement.
I couldn't be more thrilled. If you've read the "About Me" section of my blog, you'll know that I'm just a *little* bit of a zealot when it comes to the Law of Attraction. I don't care what the skeptics say. My life is living proof that it works. And it can either work for you or against you. It is just a matter of whether you want to wake up and accept that you create your experience or not.
Believe me, I know how black and white this sounds. And, on one level, it IS that black and white. Yet, on other levels there are so many subtle nuances that make all the difference as to whether or not you can get the Law of Attraction to work in your life. I KNOW about these subtle nuances. I've spent 20 years studying them.
Over the years I've questioned, tested, challenged and even rejected the idea that I create my reality - many times over. And yet, each time life brought me adversity, somehow I kept returning to the idea that I was powerful and not a victim of circumstance or fate. After enough challenge, study and exploration, I was finally able to reconcile the seeming contradictions. I finally understood how it all worked. And now, I live my life this way. I feel soooo blessed. Not just for the "things" that I have, but much more for the peace, the serenity, and the love that fills my heart. For years I felt trapped in a prison, and I now I'm free!
I want nothing more than to help others know this kind of freedom. Life is too sweet to not eat it up!
Anyhoo, now that my baby is born, I get to play with it. I look forward to seeing what Source sends my way!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
To learn more about The Law of Attraction Tele-Coaching Program go to: http://www.cooleremail.net/users/sonquita/MemberList_LOA$Coach.html
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com.
ADVICE: Taming Terrorism
Q: So far I understand everything you've been writing about. I get that we create our own reality through our thoughts and emotions, courtesy of the Law of Attraction. However, I don't get how I'm supposed to think and feel positively about my life and my world when we're surrounded by threats of terrorism every day. Help!
A: When the fear of terrorism controls your sense of well-being then the one you need to protect against is your inner-terrorist, not some stranger out in the big world.
Your inner-terrorist is the part of you that focuses on terrorism. You may seek comfort by becoming informed via TV or newspapers, only to find no end to the evidence that you should be very afraid. The media presents just one very distorted and biased perspective on the world. Yet, there exists exponentially more well-being than the media would have you believe. People live productive lives, walk around in healthy bodies, safely travel on airplanes, and experience love and kindness every day, all the time! Your inner-terrorist, however, chooses to focuses instead on suffering and fear.
Dealing with "bad-ness" requires a complete and profound paradigm shift. Our culture bombards us with the philosophy that our only defense is resistance and control. We fight against perceived evil and attempt to make others conform to our way of life. However, since like attracts like, our resistance becomes a form of attention which only serves to energize the very things we don't want. We change the world by being contagious not combative. The positive energy you activate in our own life ripples out to others.
To create a more harmonious world, begin with your own world. Stop watching and reading bad news. And turn your attention to the good in your life. The solution lies in redirecting your focus rather than resisting what you oppose. I'm not saying this is easy, but I am saying you have a choice. You can spend your energy coping with consuming fear, or creatively looking for evidence that well-being abounds.
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
A: When the fear of terrorism controls your sense of well-being then the one you need to protect against is your inner-terrorist, not some stranger out in the big world.
Your inner-terrorist is the part of you that focuses on terrorism. You may seek comfort by becoming informed via TV or newspapers, only to find no end to the evidence that you should be very afraid. The media presents just one very distorted and biased perspective on the world. Yet, there exists exponentially more well-being than the media would have you believe. People live productive lives, walk around in healthy bodies, safely travel on airplanes, and experience love and kindness every day, all the time! Your inner-terrorist, however, chooses to focuses instead on suffering and fear.
Dealing with "bad-ness" requires a complete and profound paradigm shift. Our culture bombards us with the philosophy that our only defense is resistance and control. We fight against perceived evil and attempt to make others conform to our way of life. However, since like attracts like, our resistance becomes a form of attention which only serves to energize the very things we don't want. We change the world by being contagious not combative. The positive energy you activate in our own life ripples out to others.
To create a more harmonious world, begin with your own world. Stop watching and reading bad news. And turn your attention to the good in your life. The solution lies in redirecting your focus rather than resisting what you oppose. I'm not saying this is easy, but I am saying you have a choice. You can spend your energy coping with consuming fear, or creatively looking for evidence that well-being abounds.
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
ARTICLE: Your Wanting Mechanism
I’ve been teaching the internet class, Harness the Power of Metaphysics to Create the Life You Desire, and boy… it has been powerful! Thirty-three participants have embarked on this six week journey and I must tell you that the human spirit never ceases to amaze me. I’m reminded again and again how much courage it takes to go for our dreams. Many of us let life happen to us, unaware of the power we have to design and direct our lives. And yet, taking charge is really quite simple. It all begins with ‘wanting’.
Do you allow yourself to want what you want? Do you know what you want? Did you use to want things, but snuffed out that little flame when disappointment was too much to bear? We all have what I call a wanting mechanism. Wanting is a huge part of what makes us human. Wanting is good. It is your soul calling you forth to remember and express your potential as an infinitely powerful creator.
Yet, some people think wanting is bad. They may think that wanting only causes pain. Or, they have mistakenly confused non-attachment with not wanting - two very different things. It is true that wanting can lead to suffering when your interpretation of wanting is distorted. If you think of wanting as a hunger to be satiated, then yes, you will always be hungry, because your wanting will cause you to focus on lack. If, however, you understand that wanting is an expression of the universal life force, which guides you evermore toward the next highest expression of you, then wanting can be a great source of joy. As you let yourself want, a void will become apparent. But do not fear the void. Go into it and see what appears. If you stay open and listen, you will be guided toward your desires.
If your wanting mechanism has gone dormant, consider waking it up. Yes, it might be scary to stir up your greatest desires, but is it any less scary to imagine completing your life without having truly lived it?
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
Do you allow yourself to want what you want? Do you know what you want? Did you use to want things, but snuffed out that little flame when disappointment was too much to bear? We all have what I call a wanting mechanism. Wanting is a huge part of what makes us human. Wanting is good. It is your soul calling you forth to remember and express your potential as an infinitely powerful creator.
Yet, some people think wanting is bad. They may think that wanting only causes pain. Or, they have mistakenly confused non-attachment with not wanting - two very different things. It is true that wanting can lead to suffering when your interpretation of wanting is distorted. If you think of wanting as a hunger to be satiated, then yes, you will always be hungry, because your wanting will cause you to focus on lack. If, however, you understand that wanting is an expression of the universal life force, which guides you evermore toward the next highest expression of you, then wanting can be a great source of joy. As you let yourself want, a void will become apparent. But do not fear the void. Go into it and see what appears. If you stay open and listen, you will be guided toward your desires.
If your wanting mechanism has gone dormant, consider waking it up. Yes, it might be scary to stir up your greatest desires, but is it any less scary to imagine completing your life without having truly lived it?
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
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