ARTICLE: When the Law of Attraction ISN’T Working: How to Break Free of Self-Sabotage

The Universe Loves a Vacuum

You’ve probably heard people say, “The Universe abhors a vacuum.” Well, I’ve come to know that the Universe actually loves a vacuum. This is because the Universe is about expansion and the vacuum gives the Universe a place to expand into.

This is good news for you because every time you let yourself dream for a better life, you are expanding. And every time you expand, a vacuum is created. The vacuum is indeed necessary. Just like the crab that sheds its shell many times throughout its life in order to create a larger shell for its growing body, we must let go of the smaller version of ourselves over and again in order to grow. Did you know that once the crab releases its shell, he inflates his body with water to become bigger than he really is so that the new shell will form large enough for him to grow into? We do the same thing when harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction. We reach for our dreams, something bigger than we are at the time. We take inspired action. And we think and feel as if we were already that version of ourselves. In so doing, we must let go of the former version, becoming vulnerable until our new reality manifests; like the crab who seeks shelter until his new shell forms.

Let Go and Welcome the Vacuum

This vacuum is a predictable, albeit uncomfortable part of the manifestation process. When you understand that it is a necessary part of growth, and utilize the tools that can make the discomfort tolerable, you can move steadily toward your dream. When however, you fear the vacuum and misinterpret it as a “bad” thing, you are in danger of losing your dream to self-sabotage.

For example, let’s say you dream of a successful relationship. Yet, no matter what you do, it eludes you. You’ve come to realize that you keep experiencing the same bad relationship over and again, but with different people. In order to let yourself have a better relationship, you will have to let go of something you’re attached to. Perhaps you’re terrified of being alone. You must let go of the belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. You must be willing to be alone (i.e. experience the vacuum), in order to let a better relationship in.

Maybe you want to experience financial prosperity. The Universe sends you leads in the form of opportunities and ideas. You’re inspired and know exactly what you need to do. You understand that you’ll have to risk, believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, and walk in faith until the results appear. In order to do this, you must let go of the illusion that your security comes from your savings account or a steady paycheck. You must expand your definition of security.

Sometimes the vacuum looks like one giant “I don’t know.” Possibly you’ve struggled with your weight all your life, or battled a certain family member for years, or been plagued by low self-esteem as long as you can remember. Regardless of the strategies you’ve tried, you keep hitting the same brick wall. One day, you throw your hands up and declare, “I just don’t know what to do!” This is good! This is the vacuum. You’ve let go of the idea that you should know how to handle your challenge.

What to Do With the Vacuum

So what do you do with the vacuum?

1) You allow it with non-resistance,
2) You do whatever you have to do to soothe your fears, doubts and insecurities, and
3) You stay focused on where you are going.

You must accept the vacuum and trust that it is a good thing. It may feel anything but good. You may feel lost. You may feel fear. You may even feel like a part of you is dying. All of that is normal and okay. Throughout life we go through numerous mini deaths and rebirths. This is the natural cycle of life.

The truth is that you will not die or drown in the void. However, this is exactly what many of us fear. In actuality, you will be okay if you simply float around in the void for a while. This feeling of nothingness is the vacuum. And remember, the Universe loves a vacuum. If you’re patient and trust, the Universe will give you something. And if you don’t fill it with the old way of being, the Universe will provide a new and better way. The key is to let the Universe provide!

How to Navigate the Vacuum

In times of vulnerability you have a choice. You can either reach for the old familiar way of being or you can reach for something new, positive and productive. The old way leads to self-sabotage. You will simply go back to what you know and repeat your pattern once again. When, however, you intentionally reach for something new, you will stay on course to your dream:

-Seek out like-minded people or support groups.

-Stay inspired with a constant stream of books or audios.

-Take classes to keep you growing.

-Find a coach, counselor, teacher or healer to help you stay on track.

In other words, do whatever it takes to feed your faith until the new you emerges.

And I’ll tell you this: It will often feel like the new reality isn’t coming fast enough. In addition to befriending the vacuum, you must let go of control. You have to live with the vacuum for however long it takes. Use the vacuum period to become the person in your dream. If you’ve been living with the financial vacuum caused by building your dream business and the debt is getting scary, don’t let fear cause the old you to focus on debt. Instead reach for that which will allow you to BE the new you. I assure you, Donald Trump deals with astronomical amounts of debt, but he never focuses on it. He focuses on what he is building with total faith and confidence.

If you’re fed up with being alone and are starting to think you will never have the relationship of your dreams, use the vacuum period to fall in love with yourself and your life. Become a person who is in love. Refrain from filling the void with any old toad. By allowing the vacuum to exist, the Universe will send you a better version of you-in-love (i.e. Prince or Princess Charming).

You may or may not be able to love the vacuum the way the Universe does. But if you can accept it, and work with it as a natural part of the manifestation process, you will have mastered a common form of metaphysical self-sabotage and opened the floodgates for the Law of Attraction to bless your life!

Choose Your Reality!
Sonia

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ARTICLE: How to REALLY Dismantle the Limiting Beliefs That Keep Your Life Small

I’m not good enough. Good things never last. The world is unsafe. If you win, it means I lose. I have to earn what I want. I’m too this. I’m not enough that. Women only want men with money. Men only want the skinny, young things. This disease is incurable. I have to take care of myself because nobody else will. I need a college degree to do what I want. Money doesn’t fall from the sky. I don’t deserve love, happiness, success, etc…

Any of these sound familiar? If you haven’t guessed yet, these are but a few of the limiting beliefs that plague us as human beings. Unrecognized and unchallenged, they define our very life. They become our truth. They become our reality. We inherit beliefs from our parents. We develop beliefs from our experiences. We absorb beliefs from our environments. We are infected by beliefs through our media. Although these beliefs are not necessarily truths, we live our lives as if they were. And whatever is true for you, IS TRUE (for you) because your consciousness creates your reality.

The idea that one must break through limiting beliefs in order to allow greater possibilities is well known among those who pursue personal growth. However, real success in accomplishing this feat still eludes many. This is because true change requires a blend of knowing what to do as well as knowing how to go about it. What follows are the keys to successfully dismantling limiting beliefs so as to open your life to infinite possibilities!

Meet Your Inner Witness
The first step is awareness. In order to start recognizing the beliefs that limit you, you must begin using a very powerful part of your consciousness known as your inner witness. Imagine that there are two parts of you: the you that lives your life and the you that observes you living your life. The observer part of you stands outside of you and notices what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking. It will inform you of your limiting beliefs. So, what does the witness look for? A good place to start is to have your inner witness watch for two clues: cause-and-effect-thinking and judgment.

Erroneous Cause-and-Effect-Thinking
Cause-and-effect-thinking will sound like this in your mind: In order to be more prosperous, I must get a better job. In order to have a relationship, I must lose weight. In order to feel freedom, I must get this person out of my life. Whenever we think we know how something should unfold in order to achieve a result, we may be caught in a limiting belief. It all depends on whether you live life from the limited personality level or from the broader soul perspective. The personality level sees the world only through the five human senses. The soul perspective understands that the Universe can provide in ways we may have never imagined.

Good/Bad Judgments
To judge something is to name it. As soon as we observe something and give it a name, we have judged it. And because we are infinitely powerful creators, the way we judge something is the way we will experience it. When we call something good, we will experience it as good. When we call something bad we experience it as bad. When your inner witness catches you judging something as good or bad, explore the judgment to see if there is a limiting belief there.

Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs, then you can begin to transform them by practicing any number of belief-altering techniques. However, it takes more than technique to transform your beliefs. To successfully expand your consciousness you must embrace the growth opportunity as a discipline. If you think that you can break through deeply ingrained beliefs, societal paradigms or long-practiced bad habits by sporadically dabbling in self-actualization exercises, you’ll be disappointed. A long-term commitment that incorporates daily practice is the only thing that will steadily guide and direct your awareness toward greater possibility. The following guidelines will help you set yourself up for success.

Cultivate the Right Attitude
Maintaining an open mind and an attitude of willingness is essential to releasing limiting beliefs. If you find yourself succumbing to the voices of impossibility, doubt and skepticism, that’s a sign that your mind is closing and your limited perspective is winning. A good vaccine that wards off the mind-closing virus is to keep asking yourself, “what if...?” What if there was a way to do what I love without a college degree? What if there was a woman out there who could love me exactly as I am? What if there was a way for me to change careers without causing my family financial hardship? When you ask questions of possibility, the Universe answers.

Fill Your Bag of Tricks
In addition to nurturing open-mindedness and willingness, an experimental mind-set is most productive. When it comes to transforming limiting beliefs there are many tools and techniques that work. However, what works for one person, might not work for another. And what works for you one day, might not work for you another day. So, the best approach is to fill your bag of tricks. Affirmations, coaching, mentoring, 'acting as if', prayer, meditation, energy healing, journal writing, study, contemplation, visualization, and counseling are among the plethora of belief-altering methods available. With discipline as your foundation and the willingness to experiment, you will find the tools that will work for you over the long-haul journey of expanding your consciousness.

Accept the Fact That Self-Sabotage Happens
Left to our own devices, many of us will default to our old ways. It’s natural. It’s to be expected. So, rather than letting this natural human tendency defeat you, understand it. Accept it. And put in place the safety net that will catch you when you fall. If you know that your motivation tends to fizzle into nothingness, or that it doesn’t take much for your mind to plummet toward scarcity and negativity, make a commitment that will keep you accountable, forward moving and exposed to new information. Sign up for a class. Pay for six months of coaching in advance. Create or find a support group. Volunteer or find employment where you’ll work closely with people who exemplify the expansion you desire.

Dismantling the limiting beliefs that keep your life small is not only possible, but with the right mind-set and life structure in place, it is inevitable. And, as many a self-help guru has taught, you will discover that when you change your mind, you do indeed change your life.