Here's the thing about making dreams come true: It all begins with letting yourself dream -- really OWNING what it is that you want. When you do, when you finally surrender to your dream with no apologies, no qualifications, no if's, ands, or buts, then and only then can the door to your dream open.
For many years now my dream has been to reach a larger audience. Of that I was clear. BUT, part of what held me back was the limiting belief that reaching an larger audience meant sacrificing family time to a degree that was simply not acceptable to me.
As I prepared to publish my soon-be-released book, I kept hearing about all the travel that I'd have to do to promote my book. Sorry, not an option. I have two small children and I want to be home for them.
Well, when I finally owned that I wanted to successfully and prosperously reach a larger audience AND be home for my children, all resistance fell away. THAT was my dream - not one or the other. And when I owned the WHAT and the WHY of my dream, the Universe sent me the HOW. The Law of Attraction begins with intention and once I got clear, with all of my attention on what I wanted (vs. what I did not want), the magic began to unfold.
They say that when the student is ready the teacher appears. Well, this time she came in the form of a beautiful, authentic, powerful, fun and gracious marketing guru known as Alexandria Brown.
After a year's worth of reading and implementing nuggets of marketing wisdom from her free newsletters and teleseminars it became clear that I needed to attend her Online Success Blueprint Workshop. I've never spent $3000 on myself before. But the Universe sent me a clear and strong nudge. I surrendered and trusted. And I'm so glad I did.
At this moment I'm writing from my hotel room after 3 power days of' 'aha' moments and simple yet potent marketing tools. I'm going home with a clear plan of how I'm going to reach my larger audience in 2008. My first information product is launching before year-end. My first book is finally coming out in early 2008 and my second information product will be out by the end of 2008.
I can't wait to share them all with you! I'm choosing MY reality. Are you?
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com and www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
ARTICLE: When the Law of Attraction ISN’T Working: How to Break Free of Self-Sabotage
The Universe Loves a Vacuum
You’ve probably heard people say, “The Universe abhors a vacuum.” Well, I’ve come to know that the Universe actually loves a vacuum. This is because the Universe is about expansion and the vacuum gives the Universe a place to expand into.
This is good news for you because every time you let yourself dream for a better life, you are expanding. And every time you expand, a vacuum is created. The vacuum is indeed necessary. Just like the crab that sheds its shell many times throughout its life in order to create a larger shell for its growing body, we must let go of the smaller version of ourselves over and again in order to grow. Did you know that once the crab releases its shell, he inflates his body with water to become bigger than he really is so that the new shell will form large enough for him to grow into? We do the same thing when harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction. We reach for our dreams, something bigger than we are at the time. We take inspired action. And we think and feel as if we were already that version of ourselves. In so doing, we must let go of the former version, becoming vulnerable until our new reality manifests; like the crab who seeks shelter until his new shell forms.
Let Go and Welcome the Vacuum
This vacuum is a predictable, albeit uncomfortable part of the manifestation process. When you understand that it is a necessary part of growth, and utilize the tools that can make the discomfort tolerable, you can move steadily toward your dream. When however, you fear the vacuum and misinterpret it as a “bad” thing, you are in danger of losing your dream to self-sabotage.
For example, let’s say you dream of a successful relationship. Yet, no matter what you do, it eludes you. You’ve come to realize that you keep experiencing the same bad relationship over and again, but with different people. In order to let yourself have a better relationship, you will have to let go of something you’re attached to. Perhaps you’re terrified of being alone. You must let go of the belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. You must be willing to be alone (i.e. experience the vacuum), in order to let a better relationship in.
Maybe you want to experience financial prosperity. The Universe sends you leads in the form of opportunities and ideas. You’re inspired and know exactly what you need to do. You understand that you’ll have to risk, believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, and walk in faith until the results appear. In order to do this, you must let go of the illusion that your security comes from your savings account or a steady paycheck. You must expand your definition of security.
Sometimes the vacuum looks like one giant “I don’t know.” Possibly you’ve struggled with your weight all your life, or battled a certain family member for years, or been plagued by low self-esteem as long as you can remember. Regardless of the strategies you’ve tried, you keep hitting the same brick wall. One day, you throw your hands up and declare, “I just don’t know what to do!” This is good! This is the vacuum. You’ve let go of the idea that you should know how to handle your challenge.
What to Do With the Vacuum
So what do you do with the vacuum?
1) You allow it with non-resistance,
2) You do whatever you have to do to soothe your fears, doubts and insecurities, and
3) You stay focused on where you are going.
You’ve probably heard people say, “The Universe abhors a vacuum.” Well, I’ve come to know that the Universe actually loves a vacuum. This is because the Universe is about expansion and the vacuum gives the Universe a place to expand into.
This is good news for you because every time you let yourself dream for a better life, you are expanding. And every time you expand, a vacuum is created. The vacuum is indeed necessary. Just like the crab that sheds its shell many times throughout its life in order to create a larger shell for its growing body, we must let go of the smaller version of ourselves over and again in order to grow. Did you know that once the crab releases its shell, he inflates his body with water to become bigger than he really is so that the new shell will form large enough for him to grow into? We do the same thing when harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction. We reach for our dreams, something bigger than we are at the time. We take inspired action. And we think and feel as if we were already that version of ourselves. In so doing, we must let go of the former version, becoming vulnerable until our new reality manifests; like the crab who seeks shelter until his new shell forms.
Let Go and Welcome the Vacuum
This vacuum is a predictable, albeit uncomfortable part of the manifestation process. When you understand that it is a necessary part of growth, and utilize the tools that can make the discomfort tolerable, you can move steadily toward your dream. When however, you fear the vacuum and misinterpret it as a “bad” thing, you are in danger of losing your dream to self-sabotage.
For example, let’s say you dream of a successful relationship. Yet, no matter what you do, it eludes you. You’ve come to realize that you keep experiencing the same bad relationship over and again, but with different people. In order to let yourself have a better relationship, you will have to let go of something you’re attached to. Perhaps you’re terrified of being alone. You must let go of the belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. You must be willing to be alone (i.e. experience the vacuum), in order to let a better relationship in.
Maybe you want to experience financial prosperity. The Universe sends you leads in the form of opportunities and ideas. You’re inspired and know exactly what you need to do. You understand that you’ll have to risk, believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, and walk in faith until the results appear. In order to do this, you must let go of the illusion that your security comes from your savings account or a steady paycheck. You must expand your definition of security.
Sometimes the vacuum looks like one giant “I don’t know.” Possibly you’ve struggled with your weight all your life, or battled a certain family member for years, or been plagued by low self-esteem as long as you can remember. Regardless of the strategies you’ve tried, you keep hitting the same brick wall. One day, you throw your hands up and declare, “I just don’t know what to do!” This is good! This is the vacuum. You’ve let go of the idea that you should know how to handle your challenge.
What to Do With the Vacuum
So what do you do with the vacuum?
1) You allow it with non-resistance,
2) You do whatever you have to do to soothe your fears, doubts and insecurities, and
3) You stay focused on where you are going.
You must accept the vacuum and trust that it is a good thing. It may feel anything but good. You may feel lost. You may feel fear. You may even feel like a part of you is dying. All of that is normal and okay. Throughout life we go through numerous mini deaths and rebirths. This is the natural cycle of life.
The truth is that you will not die or drown in the void. However, this is exactly what many of us fear. In actuality, you will be okay if you simply float around in the void for a while. This feeling of nothingness is the vacuum. And remember, the Universe loves a vacuum. If you’re patient and trust, the Universe will give you something. And if you don’t fill it with the old way of being, the Universe will provide a new and better way. The key is to let the Universe provide!
How to Navigate the Vacuum
In times of vulnerability you have a choice. You can either reach for the old familiar way of being or you can reach for something new, positive and productive. The old way leads to self-sabotage. You will simply go back to what you know and repeat your pattern once again. When, however, you intentionally reach for something new, you will stay on course to your dream:
-Seek out like-minded people or support groups.
-Stay inspired with a constant stream of books or audios.
-Take classes to keep you growing.
-Find a coach, counselor, teacher or healer to help you stay on track.
In other words, do whatever it takes to feed your faith until the new you emerges.
And I’ll tell you this: It will often feel like the new reality isn’t coming fast enough. In addition to befriending the vacuum, you must let go of control. You have to live with the vacuum for however long it takes. Use the vacuum period to become the person in your dream. If you’ve been living with the financial vacuum caused by building your dream business and the debt is getting scary, don’t let fear cause the old you to focus on debt. Instead reach for that which will allow you to BE the new you. I assure you, Donald Trump deals with astronomical amounts of debt, but he never focuses on it. He focuses on what he is building with total faith and confidence.
If you’re fed up with being alone and are starting to think you will never have the relationship of your dreams, use the vacuum period to fall in love with yourself and your life. Become a person who is in love. Refrain from filling the void with any old toad. By allowing the vacuum to exist, the Universe will send you a better version of you-in-love (i.e. Prince or Princess Charming).
You may or may not be able to love the vacuum the way the Universe does. But if you can accept it, and work with it as a natural part of the manifestation process, you will have mastered a common form of metaphysical self-sabotage and opened the floodgates for the Law of Attraction to bless your life!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com or www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
MUSING: Tapping and the Law of Attraction - Paradox?
A reader recently wrote in to suggest that maybe I should tap positive statements rather than focusing on the problem. I'm so glad you wrote in because this very topic has been the subject of many a conversation - both with myself in my own mind and with many clients.
As any long-time student of the Law of Attraction knows, you're supposed to put your attention on what you want, NOT what you don't want. And yet, EFT (a.k.a. tapping) always has you create a set-up statement that identifies the problem. AND we're supposed to tap, while repeating the problem. Now it is important to note that the set-up statement is supposed to be created in such a way that the problem is ALWAYS balanced out with a positive affirmation.
For a while I had trouble reconciling my law of attraction studies with the EFT modality, where one deliberate puts attention on what they don't want in order to clear its energy.
I'm certainly not an expert on EFT, but for now, I've reconciled this seeming paradox in the following way: We draw into our lives the physical equivalent of our VIBRATION. For this reason, affirmation don't always work. If our vibration is not in alignment with our words, the affirmation is useless (for more information on creating affirmations that REALLY work keep an eye out for my soon-to-be-released home study program: How to Get Results with the Law of Attraction TM).
When we create our set up statement our intention and our vibration is in alignment with healing. And so, our consciousness is in alignment with the benefit of tapping on the appropriate meridians.
I've order all the EFT training cds, but haven't had a chance to watch them all yet. Anyone who has wisdom to offer on the subject, please do!
What I can say is that tapping works for many. I'm still experimenting with it. Sometimes it seems to work in profound ways, other times not. For this reason, I've long been a fan of the deeper origin work that I've studies and use in my practice. Modalities like: Dynamic Energetic Healing, the Yuen Method, and Resonance Repatterning to name a few.
The journey continues.
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com and www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com.
As any long-time student of the Law of Attraction knows, you're supposed to put your attention on what you want, NOT what you don't want. And yet, EFT (a.k.a. tapping) always has you create a set-up statement that identifies the problem. AND we're supposed to tap, while repeating the problem. Now it is important to note that the set-up statement is supposed to be created in such a way that the problem is ALWAYS balanced out with a positive affirmation.
For a while I had trouble reconciling my law of attraction studies with the EFT modality, where one deliberate puts attention on what they don't want in order to clear its energy.
I'm certainly not an expert on EFT, but for now, I've reconciled this seeming paradox in the following way: We draw into our lives the physical equivalent of our VIBRATION. For this reason, affirmation don't always work. If our vibration is not in alignment with our words, the affirmation is useless (for more information on creating affirmations that REALLY work keep an eye out for my soon-to-be-released home study program: How to Get Results with the Law of Attraction TM).
When we create our set up statement our intention and our vibration is in alignment with healing. And so, our consciousness is in alignment with the benefit of tapping on the appropriate meridians.
I've order all the EFT training cds, but haven't had a chance to watch them all yet. Anyone who has wisdom to offer on the subject, please do!
What I can say is that tapping works for many. I'm still experimenting with it. Sometimes it seems to work in profound ways, other times not. For this reason, I've long been a fan of the deeper origin work that I've studies and use in my practice. Modalities like: Dynamic Energetic Healing, the Yuen Method, and Resonance Repatterning to name a few.
The journey continues.
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com and www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com.
ARTICLE: How to REALLY Dismantle the Limiting Beliefs That Keep Your Life Small
I’m not good enough. Good things never last. The world is unsafe. If you win, it means I lose. I have to earn what I want. I’m too this. I’m not enough that. Women only want men with money. Men only want the skinny, young things. This disease is incurable. I have to take care of myself because nobody else will. I need a college degree to do what I want. Money doesn’t fall from the sky. I don’t deserve love, happiness, success, etc…
Any of these sound familiar? If you haven’t guessed yet, these are but a few of the limiting beliefs that plague us as human beings. Unrecognized and unchallenged, they define our very life. They become our truth. They become our reality. We inherit beliefs from our parents. We develop beliefs from our experiences. We absorb beliefs from our environments. We are infected by beliefs through our media. Although these beliefs are not necessarily truths, we live our lives as if they were. And whatever is true for you, IS TRUE (for you) because your consciousness creates your reality.
The idea that one must break through limiting beliefs in order to allow greater possibilities is well known among those who pursue personal growth. However, real success in accomplishing this feat still eludes many. This is because true change requires a blend of knowing what to do as well as knowing how to go about it. What follows are the keys to successfully dismantling limiting beliefs so as to open your life to infinite possibilities!
Meet Your Inner Witness
The first step is awareness. In order to start recognizing the beliefs that limit you, you must begin using a very powerful part of your consciousness known as your inner witness. Imagine that there are two parts of you: the you that lives your life and the you that observes you living your life. The observer part of you stands outside of you and notices what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking. It will inform you of your limiting beliefs. So, what does the witness look for? A good place to start is to have your inner witness watch for two clues: cause-and-effect-thinking and judgment.
Erroneous Cause-and-Effect-Thinking
Cause-and-effect-thinking will sound like this in your mind: In order to be more prosperous, I must get a better job. In order to have a relationship, I must lose weight. In order to feel freedom, I must get this person out of my life. Whenever we think we know how something should unfold in order to achieve a result, we may be caught in a limiting belief. It all depends on whether you live life from the limited personality level or from the broader soul perspective. The personality level sees the world only through the five human senses. The soul perspective understands that the Universe can provide in ways we may have never imagined.
Good/Bad Judgments
To judge something is to name it. As soon as we observe something and give it a name, we have judged it. And because we are infinitely powerful creators, the way we judge something is the way we will experience it. When we call something good, we will experience it as good. When we call something bad we experience it as bad. When your inner witness catches you judging something as good or bad, explore the judgment to see if there is a limiting belief there.
Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs, then you can begin to transform them by practicing any number of belief-altering techniques. However, it takes more than technique to transform your beliefs. To successfully expand your consciousness you must embrace the growth opportunity as a discipline. If you think that you can break through deeply ingrained beliefs, societal paradigms or long-practiced bad habits by sporadically dabbling in self-actualization exercises, you’ll be disappointed. A long-term commitment that incorporates daily practice is the only thing that will steadily guide and direct your awareness toward greater possibility. The following guidelines will help you set yourself up for success.
Cultivate the Right Attitude
Maintaining an open mind and an attitude of willingness is essential to releasing limiting beliefs. If you find yourself succumbing to the voices of impossibility, doubt and skepticism, that’s a sign that your mind is closing and your limited perspective is winning. A good vaccine that wards off the mind-closing virus is to keep asking yourself, “what if...?” What if there was a way to do what I love without a college degree? What if there was a woman out there who could love me exactly as I am? What if there was a way for me to change careers without causing my family financial hardship? When you ask questions of possibility, the Universe answers.
Fill Your Bag of Tricks
In addition to nurturing open-mindedness and willingness, an experimental mind-set is most productive. When it comes to transforming limiting beliefs there are many tools and techniques that work. However, what works for one person, might not work for another. And what works for you one day, might not work for you another day. So, the best approach is to fill your bag of tricks. Affirmations, coaching, mentoring, 'acting as if', prayer, meditation, energy healing, journal writing, study, contemplation, visualization, and counseling are among the plethora of belief-altering methods available. With discipline as your foundation and the willingness to experiment, you will find the tools that will work for you over the long-haul journey of expanding your consciousness.
Accept the Fact That Self-Sabotage Happens
Left to our own devices, many of us will default to our old ways. It’s natural. It’s to be expected. So, rather than letting this natural human tendency defeat you, understand it. Accept it. And put in place the safety net that will catch you when you fall. If you know that your motivation tends to fizzle into nothingness, or that it doesn’t take much for your mind to plummet toward scarcity and negativity, make a commitment that will keep you accountable, forward moving and exposed to new information. Sign up for a class. Pay for six months of coaching in advance. Create or find a support group. Volunteer or find employment where you’ll work closely with people who exemplify the expansion you desire.
Dismantling the limiting beliefs that keep your life small is not only possible, but with the right mind-set and life structure in place, it is inevitable. And, as many a self-help guru has taught, you will discover that when you change your mind, you do indeed change your life.
Any of these sound familiar? If you haven’t guessed yet, these are but a few of the limiting beliefs that plague us as human beings. Unrecognized and unchallenged, they define our very life. They become our truth. They become our reality. We inherit beliefs from our parents. We develop beliefs from our experiences. We absorb beliefs from our environments. We are infected by beliefs through our media. Although these beliefs are not necessarily truths, we live our lives as if they were. And whatever is true for you, IS TRUE (for you) because your consciousness creates your reality.
The idea that one must break through limiting beliefs in order to allow greater possibilities is well known among those who pursue personal growth. However, real success in accomplishing this feat still eludes many. This is because true change requires a blend of knowing what to do as well as knowing how to go about it. What follows are the keys to successfully dismantling limiting beliefs so as to open your life to infinite possibilities!
Meet Your Inner Witness
The first step is awareness. In order to start recognizing the beliefs that limit you, you must begin using a very powerful part of your consciousness known as your inner witness. Imagine that there are two parts of you: the you that lives your life and the you that observes you living your life. The observer part of you stands outside of you and notices what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking. It will inform you of your limiting beliefs. So, what does the witness look for? A good place to start is to have your inner witness watch for two clues: cause-and-effect-thinking and judgment.
Erroneous Cause-and-Effect-Thinking
Cause-and-effect-thinking will sound like this in your mind: In order to be more prosperous, I must get a better job. In order to have a relationship, I must lose weight. In order to feel freedom, I must get this person out of my life. Whenever we think we know how something should unfold in order to achieve a result, we may be caught in a limiting belief. It all depends on whether you live life from the limited personality level or from the broader soul perspective. The personality level sees the world only through the five human senses. The soul perspective understands that the Universe can provide in ways we may have never imagined.
Good/Bad Judgments
To judge something is to name it. As soon as we observe something and give it a name, we have judged it. And because we are infinitely powerful creators, the way we judge something is the way we will experience it. When we call something good, we will experience it as good. When we call something bad we experience it as bad. When your inner witness catches you judging something as good or bad, explore the judgment to see if there is a limiting belief there.
Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs, then you can begin to transform them by practicing any number of belief-altering techniques. However, it takes more than technique to transform your beliefs. To successfully expand your consciousness you must embrace the growth opportunity as a discipline. If you think that you can break through deeply ingrained beliefs, societal paradigms or long-practiced bad habits by sporadically dabbling in self-actualization exercises, you’ll be disappointed. A long-term commitment that incorporates daily practice is the only thing that will steadily guide and direct your awareness toward greater possibility. The following guidelines will help you set yourself up for success.
Cultivate the Right Attitude
Maintaining an open mind and an attitude of willingness is essential to releasing limiting beliefs. If you find yourself succumbing to the voices of impossibility, doubt and skepticism, that’s a sign that your mind is closing and your limited perspective is winning. A good vaccine that wards off the mind-closing virus is to keep asking yourself, “what if...?” What if there was a way to do what I love without a college degree? What if there was a woman out there who could love me exactly as I am? What if there was a way for me to change careers without causing my family financial hardship? When you ask questions of possibility, the Universe answers.
Fill Your Bag of Tricks
In addition to nurturing open-mindedness and willingness, an experimental mind-set is most productive. When it comes to transforming limiting beliefs there are many tools and techniques that work. However, what works for one person, might not work for another. And what works for you one day, might not work for you another day. So, the best approach is to fill your bag of tricks. Affirmations, coaching, mentoring, 'acting as if', prayer, meditation, energy healing, journal writing, study, contemplation, visualization, and counseling are among the plethora of belief-altering methods available. With discipline as your foundation and the willingness to experiment, you will find the tools that will work for you over the long-haul journey of expanding your consciousness.
Accept the Fact That Self-Sabotage Happens
Left to our own devices, many of us will default to our old ways. It’s natural. It’s to be expected. So, rather than letting this natural human tendency defeat you, understand it. Accept it. And put in place the safety net that will catch you when you fall. If you know that your motivation tends to fizzle into nothingness, or that it doesn’t take much for your mind to plummet toward scarcity and negativity, make a commitment that will keep you accountable, forward moving and exposed to new information. Sign up for a class. Pay for six months of coaching in advance. Create or find a support group. Volunteer or find employment where you’ll work closely with people who exemplify the expansion you desire.
Dismantling the limiting beliefs that keep your life small is not only possible, but with the right mind-set and life structure in place, it is inevitable. And, as many a self-help guru has taught, you will discover that when you change your mind, you do indeed change your life.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
ARTICLE: How to Transform Your Relationships with the Law of Attraction
The Most Common Mistake
Utter miracles are possible in relationships. As a life coach and counselor, I've seen many relationships resuscitated from near death. Yet, the most common mistake that I see over and again in relationships is that people get stuck in the notion that theother person needs to change.
Certainly, sometimes the only way you can experience improvement is to release the relationship all together to allow a more fulfilling one into your life. Yet, there is a lot you can do to activate transformation. Your power, however, lies in exploring how you might need to change versus the other person.
Where Your Attention Goes, the Energy Flows
The Law of Attraction teaches us: where your attention goes, the energy flows. Metaphysics and quantum physics tell us that the consciousness of the observer directly influences the observed. In other words if you look for the positive, you'll find the positive. If you look for the negative, you'll find the negative. Oh… but bemoaning our fate, gossiping and making the other person wrong is so juicy, isn't it? Let's face it. There's great benefit to complaining and criticizing another. We get to be right. Our egos just love that! We get to be comfortable because we don't need to challenge ourselves or change. And we get to shirk responsibility. Who wants another thing to be responsible for?!But alas, despite all the goodies that come with pointing the finger, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, "How's this working for me?" Yes, you may be right. Every last thing on your laundry list of resentments may indeed be accurate and even justified. But at some point you have to decide whether you'd rather have a relationship with a human being or your resentments. Resentments are like poison. They will eat you alive. If, however, you're willing to take responsibility for your unhappy relationships you'll find that it is not only possible to release the resentments, but you will discover a new level of fulfillment in your relationship with yourself and others.
Recognize and Redirect
Where does one begin on this journey of relationship transformation? You must first make a commitment to clean up your end of the negative dynamic. This means that you must take responsibility for your attitude and thoughts. The only way that change is truly possible is to embrace this as a discipline. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. This means that what we experience in our external world is a direct reflection of our internal consciousness. When we choose different thoughts, emotions and actions, our relationships will reflect the new consciousness. I call this mental practice Recognize and Redirect. Here's how it works:Each time you notice that your attention is on what you do not want with a person, pause, recognize that you are defaulting to the negative, and redirect your thoughts toward anything even the slightest bit positive. This practice is quite simple and the results can be dramatic. If you do this for 40 days with commitment, you will experience change. Although you can not control what the change will look like, it will be positive. Either you will begin to experience the other person in a better light, or you will gain insights that will guide you to a more productive relationship experience.Now then, you may say, How am I supposed to find something positive about this person? He is impossible! She'll never change! First of all, if you want to find something positive you will. You must be willing to let go of your righteous position. Secondly, it is important to note that you don't have to find something positive about the person, you need only redirect your consciousness to anything positive. Here are a few ways to do this:
-Practice Your Willingness Mantra – Willingness is nothing less than the magic wand of metaphysics. The great thing about willingness is that you don't have to know how to change something. You only need to know that you want it to be different. Let's say you regularly feel contempt for a co-worker. Next time you recognize this, say to yourself, I am willing to feel good around Joe no matter what. If in mid-conversation you recognize that once again you are struggling with your teenager, pause, and say to yourself, I am willing to experience ease and harmony. Next time you engage in that familiar head-butting dance with your father, pause and say to yourself, I am willing to have a break-through! Don't worry about coming up with just the right words, because it is your intention, not the words, that magnetizes a new experience. The universe knows just what to do.
- Look for the Best in the Person - Take some time when you are alone to make a list of positive characteristics about the other person. Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the equation. Look at how that person operates in the world outside of your relationship, how other people see him, what good she does do and how she does contribute. Try giving this person the benefit of the doubt. What positive reason might motivate this person's actions and choices? Once you've got your list, it will be easier to redirect your consciousness when you really need to.
- Examine Your Expectations – Expectations can be an insidious and damaging culprit in relationships. We all have them. We expect the other person to do all sorts of things for us. Have you been expecting your boyfriend to read your mind, your mother to express love to you in a certain way, your husband to help more with the kids, your co-worker to trust you rather than compete with you? Once you are more aware of your expectations, consider letting all of them go -- even if only for forty days. Consider the possibility that the other person is not responsible for any of those expectations -that instead it is your responsibility to meet your own needs. Without the burden of expectation, it is much easier to redirect your consciousness to the positive.Being self-responsible is fundamental to successful relationships. It may not be easy, but it is productive. Although there is much over which we have no power, we do have power over our perspective. There is nothing more powerful than taking charge of how you relate to things, whether it be your car breaking down, your significant other, or socio-political events of the world. The fact is, as Wayne Dyer puts it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: http://www.successforthesoul/ and http://www.soniamillerssoulfoodezine.com/
Utter miracles are possible in relationships. As a life coach and counselor, I've seen many relationships resuscitated from near death. Yet, the most common mistake that I see over and again in relationships is that people get stuck in the notion that theother person needs to change.
Certainly, sometimes the only way you can experience improvement is to release the relationship all together to allow a more fulfilling one into your life. Yet, there is a lot you can do to activate transformation. Your power, however, lies in exploring how you might need to change versus the other person.
Where Your Attention Goes, the Energy Flows
The Law of Attraction teaches us: where your attention goes, the energy flows. Metaphysics and quantum physics tell us that the consciousness of the observer directly influences the observed. In other words if you look for the positive, you'll find the positive. If you look for the negative, you'll find the negative. Oh… but bemoaning our fate, gossiping and making the other person wrong is so juicy, isn't it? Let's face it. There's great benefit to complaining and criticizing another. We get to be right. Our egos just love that! We get to be comfortable because we don't need to challenge ourselves or change. And we get to shirk responsibility. Who wants another thing to be responsible for?!But alas, despite all the goodies that come with pointing the finger, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, "How's this working for me?" Yes, you may be right. Every last thing on your laundry list of resentments may indeed be accurate and even justified. But at some point you have to decide whether you'd rather have a relationship with a human being or your resentments. Resentments are like poison. They will eat you alive. If, however, you're willing to take responsibility for your unhappy relationships you'll find that it is not only possible to release the resentments, but you will discover a new level of fulfillment in your relationship with yourself and others.
Recognize and Redirect
Where does one begin on this journey of relationship transformation? You must first make a commitment to clean up your end of the negative dynamic. This means that you must take responsibility for your attitude and thoughts. The only way that change is truly possible is to embrace this as a discipline. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. This means that what we experience in our external world is a direct reflection of our internal consciousness. When we choose different thoughts, emotions and actions, our relationships will reflect the new consciousness. I call this mental practice Recognize and Redirect. Here's how it works:Each time you notice that your attention is on what you do not want with a person, pause, recognize that you are defaulting to the negative, and redirect your thoughts toward anything even the slightest bit positive. This practice is quite simple and the results can be dramatic. If you do this for 40 days with commitment, you will experience change. Although you can not control what the change will look like, it will be positive. Either you will begin to experience the other person in a better light, or you will gain insights that will guide you to a more productive relationship experience.Now then, you may say, How am I supposed to find something positive about this person? He is impossible! She'll never change! First of all, if you want to find something positive you will. You must be willing to let go of your righteous position. Secondly, it is important to note that you don't have to find something positive about the person, you need only redirect your consciousness to anything positive. Here are a few ways to do this:
-Practice Your Willingness Mantra – Willingness is nothing less than the magic wand of metaphysics. The great thing about willingness is that you don't have to know how to change something. You only need to know that you want it to be different. Let's say you regularly feel contempt for a co-worker. Next time you recognize this, say to yourself, I am willing to feel good around Joe no matter what. If in mid-conversation you recognize that once again you are struggling with your teenager, pause, and say to yourself, I am willing to experience ease and harmony. Next time you engage in that familiar head-butting dance with your father, pause and say to yourself, I am willing to have a break-through! Don't worry about coming up with just the right words, because it is your intention, not the words, that magnetizes a new experience. The universe knows just what to do.
- Look for the Best in the Person - Take some time when you are alone to make a list of positive characteristics about the other person. Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the equation. Look at how that person operates in the world outside of your relationship, how other people see him, what good she does do and how she does contribute. Try giving this person the benefit of the doubt. What positive reason might motivate this person's actions and choices? Once you've got your list, it will be easier to redirect your consciousness when you really need to.
- Examine Your Expectations – Expectations can be an insidious and damaging culprit in relationships. We all have them. We expect the other person to do all sorts of things for us. Have you been expecting your boyfriend to read your mind, your mother to express love to you in a certain way, your husband to help more with the kids, your co-worker to trust you rather than compete with you? Once you are more aware of your expectations, consider letting all of them go -- even if only for forty days. Consider the possibility that the other person is not responsible for any of those expectations -that instead it is your responsibility to meet your own needs. Without the burden of expectation, it is much easier to redirect your consciousness to the positive.Being self-responsible is fundamental to successful relationships. It may not be easy, but it is productive. Although there is much over which we have no power, we do have power over our perspective. There is nothing more powerful than taking charge of how you relate to things, whether it be your car breaking down, your significant other, or socio-political events of the world. The fact is, as Wayne Dyer puts it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE resources and articles go to: http://www.successforthesoul/ and http://www.soniamillerssoulfoodezine.com/
Sunday, September 9, 2007
EXPERIMENT: 6 Pounds and Still Tapping
Well, slowly but surely, I seem to be losing weight, and more importantly feeling more and more free of behaviors and habits that I've struggled with.
I've discovered that as I keep tapping, new insights, new levels of awareness about the underlying emotions and thoughts surface. As they do, I tap on those.
For example, even though it should have been obvious to me, the other day it "dawned" on me that I eat at night to relax. I knew that, but it never occurred to tap on that. So, I did...
Even though I use food to relax, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I use food to relax, I'm ready to feel calm and relaxed without food.
Even though I use food to relax, I choose to feel calm and confident.
That night I found that I didn't feel the urge to eat to unwind.
I've also been tapping on things other than food and body issues and experience a significant decrease in intensity. Just simple things that can cause stress come way down.
More to follow.
Choose Your Reality,
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to:
www.SuccessForTheSoul.com OR www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com
I've discovered that as I keep tapping, new insights, new levels of awareness about the underlying emotions and thoughts surface. As they do, I tap on those.
For example, even though it should have been obvious to me, the other day it "dawned" on me that I eat at night to relax. I knew that, but it never occurred to tap on that. So, I did...
Even though I use food to relax, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I use food to relax, I'm ready to feel calm and relaxed without food.
Even though I use food to relax, I choose to feel calm and confident.
That night I found that I didn't feel the urge to eat to unwind.
I've also been tapping on things other than food and body issues and experience a significant decrease in intensity. Just simple things that can cause stress come way down.
More to follow.
Choose Your Reality,
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to:
www.SuccessForTheSoul.com OR www.SoniaMillersSoulFoodEzine.com
Monday, September 3, 2007
EXPERIMENT - 1 Month of Tapping - Results and Insights
Well, it has been one month now of tapping and here's the latest.
-I've lost about 5 pounds and the only thing that has really changed is that my night-time eating has greatly reduced. Other than that I eat 3 sensible meals a day. If I'm hungry in the afternoon, I'll have some fruit.
-I have gone through periods of no tapping. My eating behavior would remain unchanged for a while and then I'd have a "relapse" where I was relying on willpower and feeling urges to eat at night when not hungry. When this happened, I went back to tapping first thing in the morning and before dinner.
-With the compulsive behavior more at bay, new insights into the emotional energy beneath them have revealed themselves: sadness, loneliness, some fear. The neat thing is that with the behavior at bay, my other self-nurturing tools have pushed to the surface. I'm meditating more, walking more, and reconnecting with my love of music more.
-As limiting thoughts and emotions come up, I tap on them.
-Even though I hate dieting I completely and deeply accept myself
-Even though the weightloss is too slow, I deeply and completely...
-Even though I'm afraid I'll lose control when my regular routine is disrupted, I'm ready to be calm, confident and grounded in my commitment to health and well-being.
The kids go back to school this week and I'm really looking forward to getting back into my early morning walking routine.
My food/body goal is:
To 100% heal the last vestige of emotional eating and experience long-term and permanent weightloss (about 10-15 lbs.), so that I reach my healthy optimum goal weight in a natural and joyful way!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
-I've lost about 5 pounds and the only thing that has really changed is that my night-time eating has greatly reduced. Other than that I eat 3 sensible meals a day. If I'm hungry in the afternoon, I'll have some fruit.
-I have gone through periods of no tapping. My eating behavior would remain unchanged for a while and then I'd have a "relapse" where I was relying on willpower and feeling urges to eat at night when not hungry. When this happened, I went back to tapping first thing in the morning and before dinner.
-With the compulsive behavior more at bay, new insights into the emotional energy beneath them have revealed themselves: sadness, loneliness, some fear. The neat thing is that with the behavior at bay, my other self-nurturing tools have pushed to the surface. I'm meditating more, walking more, and reconnecting with my love of music more.
-As limiting thoughts and emotions come up, I tap on them.
-Even though I hate dieting I completely and deeply accept myself
-Even though the weightloss is too slow, I deeply and completely...
-Even though I'm afraid I'll lose control when my regular routine is disrupted, I'm ready to be calm, confident and grounded in my commitment to health and well-being.
The kids go back to school this week and I'm really looking forward to getting back into my early morning walking routine.
My food/body goal is:
To 100% heal the last vestige of emotional eating and experience long-term and permanent weightloss (about 10-15 lbs.), so that I reach my healthy optimum goal weight in a natural and joyful way!
Choose Your Reality!
Sonia
For more FREE articles and resources go to: www.SuccessForTheSoul.com
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