MUSING: To Bitch or Not To Bitch - That IS the Question...

“What the --!” An explosive "POP" followed by a burning smell compelled me to pull over to the side of the road.

Perfect… just perfect, I groaned mentally. I could feel a victimy complaint list swelling in my mind, barreling down on what had been a zen-like state of consciousness. The desire to plunge into the delicious depths of a self-righteous bitch session (with me, myself, and I) swelled as I got out of my car to investigate.

Nope, no flat tire. But now what? I didn’t feel safe to drive. The last thing I needed was to become a vaporized mist in a pyrotechnic auto event. Probably not a good idea to risk driving.

So, I began going through the requisite motions. Called my hubby, couldn’t reach him. Called AAA. Called my mom. Called the rental car company. Started coordinating the details of my rescue amidst twenty dropped calls due to bad cell phone reception, and fifteen or so friendly Samaritans asking if I was okay.

What a DRAG! This was my first real day-off in a month. Just 60 seconds ago, I was in a wonderfully grateful, peaceful place. Aaaaahhhh, finally everyone’s schedule was set – kids, mine, childcare, summer vacation had started, the sun was finally shining. And BAM! I’m by the side of the road dealing with yet another of life’s inconveniences! This was the cherry on my Sundae of the past month! GRRRRR.

And yet, I’m a self-proclaimed metaphysician. I KNOW that I can’t afford to indulge in a bitch session without risking creating more of the same crap. I know too well how we create our experience and our reality. So, I fought my desire to delve into drama. Took some deep breaths and started my self-talk routine. Sonia, Source is good ALL the time. Be grateful. You’re in a safe place. You have a cell-phone. You have AAA. It could be worse. Your surroundings are beautiful. There’s no place you have to be. The kids are taken care of….”

On and on I tried to focus on the positive. I tried to “get happy.” But I just wasn’t in the mood to be happy. So, I didn’t bitch, but I didn’t get happy either. Then I remembered, Sonia, you don’t have to be happy, just suspend judgment. …BIG SIGH… Okay, that I can do. So, I “practiced pause”. I paused. Took a breath and declared to myself, This is only bad if I call it bad. I am suspending judgment of this situation. It is what it is and it is fine.

The desire to bitch released and I surrendered to the situation. Long story short, two hours later, my car was off to the dealership. The groceries were in my mother’s car along with me, and I was on my way to the rental car company.

The event resolved itself, but more importantly by choosing not to bitch and suspending judgment, some magical things happened. They happened because I knew there was something better than what I would have created by indulging in a go-nowhere bitch session.

Well, to start, after Good Samaritan #12 stopped by, a tearful wave of appreciation swept over me. It really hit me how there is help all around all the time. Stranger after stranger stopped to offer help and care – from the 4-wheelin’ teenagers, to biker dudes in tattoos, to mother and daughter teams, to lone truck men, to single business women. All types, all kinds, all just stopping to help. What a moving reality when you really let it in.

Then at the car rental place, the woman helping me asked, “What was that other business I heard about on your voicemail?” “Oh, that’s Success for the Soul - my private practice. I’m a life coach and counselor.” “Wow!” Her eyes lit up. “I NEED a life coach. Tell me more.” We chatted for a while and she shared that her life was in transition and her eldest son was going to Iraq. She was interested in gaining clarity and guidance for her life.

In less than two hours I had gone from a pain-in-the-neck agitation to an intimate connection with a soul whose child was going to war. Geez! My mere annoyance was certainly worth this sacred moment, wouldn’t you say?

I drove home reflecting on the choice I had had. To bitch or not to bitch, that WAS the question. In a moment when life gave me a situation I really did not care for, I had a choice. We always have a choice. We are always free - not necessarily to change the conditions of life at any given moment, but to choose how we will perceive an event. We are free to choose our attitude. We are free to choose how we will judge an event. And in so doing, we do, indeed, choose our reality.

Choose Your Reality!

Sonia

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